I guess the creator or whatever likes women with big thighs. I read about it in an interview. I think in EGM. Let me dig out the issue tomorrow and I’ll reread.
SOCIALISM
- You have 2 cows.
- You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
- You have 2 cows.
- The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
- You have 2 cows.
- The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
- You have 2 cows.
- The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
- You have 2 cows.
- The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
- You have two cows.
- You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
- You have two giraffes.
- The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
- You have two cows.
- You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
- The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
- You have two cows.
- You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ’Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
- You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You count them and learn you have five cows.
- You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
- You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
- You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
- You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
- You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
- Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
- You tell them that you have none.
- No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
- You have two cows.
- The one on the left looks kinda cute.
Index
#31 - Re: Random Thoughts of the Day 
